It is a sad day indeed when a restaurant that combines both the words ‘udon’ and ‘bar’ into one name manages to make dog food look delicious.
The former home of a questionable All You Can Eat sushi restaurant, I was expecting to spend my Saturday afternoon at Metrotown feasting on extremely low grade fish and various deep fried mystery items but to my utter astonishment, Sekai Udon Bar was now in its place.
Serving handmade udon, sushi, and a variety of Japanese fare, Sekai should have been a no brainer but as my good friend Kanye (West) says – nothing in life is promised except death.
And death was looking just slightly more imminent after lunch here on Saturday.
Maybe I’m being too harsh because sure, the noodles on their own were done well with a nice bouncy chew but I ask you, is that enough when the broth it’s swimming in induces violent coughing?
When it comes to the Spicy Tan Tan Noodles – don’t do it, just don’t do it. Soaking in a spicy miso and loaded with chili oil, enoki mushrooms, bok choy, green onions, and ground pork this tasted like a whole lot of nothing except spicy salt.
A disappointing thin soup a good bowl of noo noos does not make. With no real flavour but enough fire to heat the surfaces of a thousand suns, this broth was so spicy it had me hacking after every sip.
Albeit mildly more successful, the Sukiyaki Udon was another loser. With tiny terrible quality shreds of beef floating around, these two bowls at around $11 a pop could hardly be called a good investment.
The Spicy Roll Combo at $12.50 with its Spicy Crunchy Tuna Roll, Spicy Salmon Roll, and Spicy Scallop Roll were covered in red chili sauce and sprinkled with deep fried bits.
Rolled with nothing but the finest of lousy raw fish, good luck even figuring out which roll is which.
Oshizushi Atlantic Salmon at $7.90 isn’t your upscale aburi type sushi. In fact, it isn’t even your average type. Think of it as average and then take it down about 3.5 notches.
Almost zero artistry, subtlety, or nuance in flavours, it’s something much closer to charred salmon plunked onto a box of rice then covered in mayo and a chunk of jalapeno. No Sank You.
But have no fear, Takoyaki is here. This is easily Sekai’s strongest dish but you can be sure this isn’t saying much at all.
Drizzled with a creamy blend of Teri-mayo and sprinkled with bonito flakes and green onions, it’s a pleasant surprise to be greeted by a sizeable octopus chunk hiding within the batter.
Takoyaki, Takoyaki, the only winner, would I return?
I shan’t. No no no no no I shan’t be doing that again.
At $55 for three ladies, this just is not a wise use of my money, or more accurately, my mother’s money. Trust me, the next time my mother gets swindled out of her money for nothing but atrocious food, I’ll be the one to do it.