Call me a glutton for punishment. Or just call me a glutton because here I was at Tomakazu on a Sunday night stuffing my face with rice balls by the fistful. I hate myself.
But yet I can’t stop. I won’t stop. This is my house, this is my rules. So la da di da di, me like to party.
We all know the drill when it comes to AYCE – refer to link here for the rundown – so I won’t waste your time with the pleasantries.
Let’s talk business.
First, the highlights.
Cooked food is where it’s at with Tomokazu and without a doubt, their Beef Shortribs are the showstopper. Juicy, fatty, and marinated in a sweet korean bbq sauce, good luck stopping at just 8.
BBQ wings and Chicken Karaage also bring strong game with their tasty crispy skin and meaty insides.
Agedashi Tofu and Prawn and Yam Tempura are not great, but they sure are edible. And when it comes to AYCE, edible is the gold standard. Anything beyond that is blessing.
Now we wade into mediocrity.
Oyster Motoyaki is smothered in a creamy layer of sweet mayo cyanide that can only result in shortened life spans and the Gyozas, when eaten hot, are adequate with their crispy outside and pork stuffing.
Yakisoba is dry and lacklustre but oddly hypnotic. Tossed in their sweet sauce, I can’t stop myself from shovelling four, then five, mouthfuls of noodles down the gullet.
Finally, we end with the garbage.
Essentially all the Sushi and Sashimi at Tomokazu (save the Chopped Scallop Cone) is garbage and a colossal waste of time, but there’s really nothing in the world that will get in between me and my boatloads of terrible terrible all you can eat sushi.
When you order the Lite Dinner Menu, your meal comes with a selection of Deluxe Rolls, but let’s get real here peeps. They all taste the same and by “the same”, i mean like deep fried mush wrapped into more rice mush and then hidden under a piece of colourful flesh disguised as fish.
Never mind that they are meant to be tuna, fried oyster, smokey bacon, or prawn tempura because for all we know, we might as well be eating people. Or cat.
Admittedly, their Scallop Cone is decent on account of having a fair amount of scallop mixture stuffed into it, but that’s pretty much where the good ends.
Salmon Sashimi, Tuna Sashimi, Beef Tataki – garbage, garbage, garbage. Obviously from frozen and watered down to near disintegration, this is hard to take down, even for Fat Meg.
But after garbage, there is light with what I like to call the arrival of Saving Grace.
Mango Pudding and Jello, actually not all that delicious or even really good, it never seems to fail at making me giddy. Loaded with sugar and the laughter and happiness of childhood dreams, no AYCE experience is complete without it so with that I say, “Garcon, I’ll take ten more.”
Many, many regrets later, would I return?
Like the abhorrent relative we’d all live to see banished from our lives but can’t quite seem to shake, AYCE will always be a part of my life.
Do I hate myself for it? Absolutely.
But when you are Fat Meg born into Fat Family who believes that eating everything you see in under 120 minutes for $22 is the very definition of quality, you march on.