There’s not one day that goes by that the topic of poo does not make me anxious. Poo is a constant stressor in my life – Am I regular enough? Am I eating the right foods? Am I going to get colon cancer? Where is the nearest toilet? And how clean is it?
Friends, tell me I’m not alone here. Tell me these poo worries keep you up at night too.
As it turns out the very thing that keeps me up at night is also the very thing that could be my salvation.
As a fundamentally lazy gal who spends her spare time blogging about her food, I am constantly on the lookout for the newest and fastest ways to drop weight without actually having to move, unless you consider chewing exercise – which I do.
How else do you think I maintain this body of a god? (More specifically, Buddha.)
What started as a google search for, “How to look like Beyonce in one week,” turned into a mad hunt for these poo pills that are likely about to make their rounds in exclusive celebrity circles.
Fecal transplant pills – the idea is to take feces from a thin individual, pack it into a pill, ingest the pill, and then watch the weight vanish.
Apparently the bacteria in skinny person poop has got some mystical properties that are going to help me look like Beyonce and like I always say, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a good old fashioned pill.
There’s not much I wouldn’t do to be Beyonce and if that means facing my fears and taking some lumps, I’ll do what it takes.