And in fact, she has. Not only that, but I’m willing to wager a pretty penny on the fact that my newborn baby cousin makes better hamburgers.
I’ll tell you this much – sitting all night at Hub Restaurant was like sitting in an ice box which is also really just like saying my grandma’s house because as we all know, no true Asian bothers paying for heat.
Maybe I rage too far but who can blame me? There is no greater pain than terrible hamburger pain and the burgers tonight were très terrible.
I can’t help but feel partially responsible. I should have known. I felt it in my bones, I felt it in my gut the second I stepped through those doors into a dim room and was immediately blasted with the stench of a bar that can only be the omen of bad things to come.
I should have turned around and walked straight out back into the cold rainy night. Instead I sat down and ordered myself The Yankee.
NIght after night of soup noodles left me longing for nothing but a big fat, juicy beef burger swimming in a mess of cheese and sauce.
In the end though, a charred leather patty, excessively salty bacon, tiny pickle, measly cheese slice, and a dull dollop of ketchup and mustard all stuffed into a dry econo bun do not a delectable hamburger make.
Even the Crack Burger complete with peppercorn encrusted beef patty, onion ring, pesto mayo, monterey jack cheese, and veggie fixings was a colossal bland ball.
Who can save us when an onion ring smushed into a burger does nothing to ease my hamburger pains?
Admittedly, the onion rings on their own are decent. These rings, with its crispy batter, might just have been the saving grace of the entire meal.
if by some sad stroke of luck, you find yourself at Hub for dinner and dreaming of nothing but the perfect poutine to complement your beef patty, save yourself the three dollars and the trauma and stay away from this poutine.
I can’t even say I know for sure what was happening with this fried mess. Disappointing cheese curds and poorly executed kennebec french fries all smothered under a bizarre gravy that is too sweet, salty, and pungent all at once is just too much confusion for me to handle on a Thursday night.
After sad patty and poutine, would I return?
$15 dollars burgers and resulting empty hearts is a price too high to pay so the next time I’m in the mood for a terrible burger, I’ll take my business to the Burger King across the street for a fraction of the cost.