Comfort Cheese

For those melancholy nights when only the sad crooning of trashy Kimye and tragic Leona Lewis will do, I seek comfort in the pillowy folds of my Cheese Bread.


A party standby of mine for years, these golden bubbling beauties never fail to please a crowd and in the very midst of yet another one of my existential crises, I know these will be the only thing to save my soul.

If I can’t have the secret to happiness in my twenties, I can at least have cheese, which is close enough.

In times of angst, crisis, and despair, I urge you – I urge all of us – to find salvation in cheesy bread.

Ingredients – Serves 5

– Ciabatta Loaf (French or Sourdough Baguette are also great)
– 1/2 cup of Bacon Bits
– 4 slices of Green Onions
– 3 cups of shredded Cheddar Cheese
– 6 Mushrooms


– 1 cup Mayonnaise
– 1 package of Dry Ranch Mix



1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Chop green onions and mushrooms.
3. Combine green onions, mushrooms, bacon bits, and shredded cheese in a bowl.
4. Add mayo and dry ranch mix.
5. Mix together.


6. Slice bread.
7. Scoop generous amounts of cheese mayo mixture onto each slice.
8. Pop into oven for 12-15 minutes until golden and bubbly.

The last and favourite of my steps – remove from oven and bury face in creamy cheese comfort.  Healthy by no one’s standard, but for the four minutes it takes for me to devour an entire loaf all to myself, I am happy – and isn’t that really the point of health anyway?

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