Double Trouble (The Hastings Warehouse)

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Tureen of fiery noodle cake,
In the oven boil and bake;
Cut of cheese, flesh of bovine,
Sword of spud, you’ll all be mine.

Double the food at half the price, but double the price for half the booze.

$4.95 mac and cheese, $4.95 premium beef burgers, $4.95 everything.  Upon finding yourself at The Hastings Warehouse after yet another long, arduous Thursday with an intense craving for a big beefy burger as well as a deep creamy bowl of cheesy carbohydrates, you’re faced with a fork in the road.

warehouse Order only the hamburger and be half unfulfilled, or order the cheesy carbs and be half unfulfilled.  Or order both and live happily ever after.  The choice is yours.

A wise person once said: “When you’re in doubt and we’re talking food, always choose both.  And when priced at $4.95, especially always choose both.”
– me

So this is how I came to find myself hunched over not one, but two entrees last night.  I regret nothing.

Not even when I sensed the onset of that familiar stabbing pain in my right side that could only be the signal of indigestion due to severe overindulgence.  Even through the pain, I knew I was sharing a special moment with my luscious, fiery red pepper mac and cheese.

With the exception of the excessively large green onion slices, everything about this dish screamed economical delight.  Soft, yet firm noodles, creamy three cheese and roasted red pepper alfredo sauce, and crispy corn flake parmesan toppings, the  Warehouse Crispy Mac and Cheese was a real winner tonight. Warehouse2Top it off with a Mushroom Swiss Burger for dessert and now we’re talking.  Premium alberta beef, mushrooms, gravy, swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and macho sauce (which I suspect is really more of a nacho cheese sauce), all packed between a golden brioche bun and then served with a side of crisp, savoury french fries is the only way to properly end a meal.

But as with life, not all good things last forever.  And the good certainly did not last when it came to their Quinoa and Green Apple Salad or the Slap Yo Mamma Caesar.  Featuring an overpowering soy dressing and real lack of flavour, avoiding any greens this evening was probably my most rewarding decision all week.

With a muted clamato flavour void of any excitement but with a bizarre fiery sweet kick, my caesar was a colossal disappointment.  Such is life.

Not all things in life are good.

Not all things in life are good.

All food for only $4.95 a pop though, it felt almost like robbery on my part.   Then I snapped to and as i came to the realization that I was paying almost $9 for my pint of beer, my guilt subsided.

Cheap food, not so cheap drinkies – would I return?

Affirmative.

Grungy, dirty, and slightly dive-y, this place packs a ton of punch.  Heaps of fun with top 90’s playing all night and $4.95 all things food, this cheapskate is most pleased.

The Hastings Warehouse on Urbanspoon

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