Guess who spent her Saturday night drinking one too many Palm Bays and then proceeded to bury her face in a bucket of french fries smothered in cheese curds, gravy, bacon, ground beef, and cheese sauce. THIS GUY.
That’s right. I was sitting at the Smoke’s Poutinerie bar on Granville Street at 1 am last night. I’m not ashamed. And I’d do it again.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometime’s I only drink so that I can stuff my face with poutine at the end of the night without feeling guilty. Logic.
I’ve been dreaming about poutine, the Great Canadian Dream, for over three weeks now and last night I finally braved the skanky skirted and douchy pierced crowds of Granville Street to live the dream for the glorious four minutes it took me to inhale that mound of magic.
Stepping into the poutine palace, we walk up to the front where we’re greeted by the menu. holy poutine! They have everything you can think of: traditional, pulled pork, fajita, philly cheese steak, chicken, and even veggie. With all these options, I start to get nervous and sweaty.
Luckily, the poutine man at the front saves the day. “Go with the Bacon Cheeseburger, little girl.”
We place our order and fall back into the lobby with our fellow intoxicated brethren until our poutine is ready. After a few moments, our order is up and a steaming deep fried sauce smothered box makes its way from the window, to the counter, to my face.
The quality of the fry itself is a bit lacking. It tastes just a little too deep fried and isn’t potato-y enough for my liking but as it’s smothered in four other things that make my life worth living, I’m not super bothered by this. More gravy wouldn’t have hurt either.
It’s no culinary masterpiece, but who expects that when it comes to poutine? The true genius of poutine lies in intoxication. If you’re eating it sober, you’re just not doing it right. I mean, you could do it and I would never say no, but half of the wonder and amazement that is The Poutine Experience is gone.
That brings us to the final question. Would I return?
What fraud of a Canadian would I be if I didn’t? There are about a hundred combinations of poutine ingredients I have yet to tackle and I am not about to say no to a challenge as worthwhile and rewarding as this.
Priced at $7.99 and big enough to share with someone, you can bet Smoke and I will definitely be meeting again.