So I’m sitting at home this morning staring at my blank word document (as per usual) trying to pound out words (anything, ANYTHING AT ALL), when my mother decides it’s a good idea to email me yet another one of her nagging emails. This time with a link to an article titled, “20 things 20-Year-Olds Don’t Get”.
And against my better judgement (fully knowing the kind of affect it’ll have on my fragile and vulnerable mental state at the moment), I open it up. And of course, the first thing it says in BIG BOLD LETTERS is essentially, “Hey, each day that passes is a day closer to DEATH so you better hurry up and get started on finding that REAL JOB before you turn 30 because at that point, if you haven’t found your calling, you might as well just go stick your head in a hole and die.”
Well surprise surprise, the rest of my morning was spent taking huge heaving breaths over my giant jar of nutella and bag of pretzels while simultaneously trying to fight off an anxiety attack. (Nutella has got to be close to what the answer to life’s problems are right?)
This must have been a really pleasant sight for BoyToy to come home to.
BoyToy had come home early from work because he wasn’t feeling well and instead of getting to rest, spends his lunch hour attempting to stop the crazy in my head from spiraling further out of control.
I mean REALLY mom. AS IF I haven’t already realized time is ticking and that LIFE IS ON A SCHEDULE.
AS IF I I haven’t realized I am currently unemployed and as of today, still have no inkling of what I want to do with my life.
AND AS IF I haven’t already just spent the past two months since I’ve been back from London, where I tried and failed at starting a new life and being fabulous, just thinking about how I need to figure out my crap so that I can finally realize and live the AMERICAN DREAM. (Cept the whole home ownership bit, there is way too much cleaning that comes with an entire house. I do not accept).
This is obviously one of those life crises that everyone encounters and there’s no real quick fix solution (and also no real way to completely stop the crazy in my mind), but BoyToy managed to do a pretty decent job at calming me down and reminding me to prioritize what’s important to me. (ME ME ME IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT ME).
“Meg, calm down. You’re in a good position right now where you can take the time to figure out what you want to do instead of rushing into something you’ll hate. One day at a time.”
AND TODAY, I CHOOSE DONUTS. (seriously, where ma donuts?!)